Help!

Dear God,

How should I interpret the signs around me?

I was admitted at an American university but did not get a scholarship. Is that a sign that I should keep trying or that I should forget about it?

Then, there is the back up plan. I've got three months to study and then start applying for Brazilian public universities. Because I only have three months, should I apply for the course which equals higher chances of admission (letras na USP) or should I go for the ambitious - political science at Unb?

The fact that I'm not tied to a college yet - is that a sign that I should dare to be and do what many would deem as crazy or irresponssible? Is this a perfect moment for me to go to India and seek espiritual enlightment? Should I do it before the voice of society convinces me that I'm not being reasonable or should I simply not challenge the dictatorship of common sense?

God, if you happen to be reading this, would you be kind enough to leave a comment? Thank you.

And time goes by...

July 10th. How come today's already today?

Two years ago, on this very date, I left Sao Paulo for Chicago. Two years ago, at about this time, my nineteen-year-old brain excitedly hipothesized about the imminent future.

Now that I can look back on time, I realize I could have never predicted I would experience what I've experienced, see what I've seen, do what I've done. Does that imply that any attempt to forsee the future is always vain? I don't know. But if that is so, I suppose I shouldn't be spending so much time thinking and worrying about the next few years.

Still...I can't help but wish I knew something about the life-after-chicago era. A glimpse would suffice!